January 14, 2016

new years vibes


I used to make so much stuff. I was always making, always had my mind in the making game. These days the most creative I get is shortening the smallest kids tankini into a bikini because her sisters wear bikinis and she doesn’t. Maybe because she’s five and doesn’t live in a trailer. Although technically camping in a camper is like living in a trailer, albeit for two weeks. So sure, she got the bikini. But that’s where my creativity stops. I even had to stop myself from buying cushions the other day. What kind of crafty ho buys cushions? None I tell you. The Janome is out, and she’s bought that fabric online faster than you can say feather down insert.

I fool myself in saying all the writing I do is creative. And I guess it is, as I am making shit up as I go along but it’s not get your hands dirty creative. Not that getting my hands dirty was ever my thing, But cutting and sewing and drawing and thinking out little things in my head and then turning that into something. That was something I did, like on the regs. I guess having nearly two years away from that life I once led I have hit that point where I want a little of it back. Today I cleaned my studio again, getting rid of more old stuff and empty containers of old stuff and cringing at old stuff. I used to stash and hoard, and now I am purging it all. I have one tub of mixed fabrics. I’m not sure why I am keeping them, I sewed one quilt in 2015, and it sat on my desk for two months waiting to be basted and quilted and bonded and sent. It got there after the baby was born, I never was like that. I was onto it. I was cranking it out. I was sharing it ’round. I was prolific.

I guess most people go through this in January. Everything is all about the fresh start. I have come home from holidays cleaning rooms out and rearranging spaces. I feel as though I am ready to dip my foot back in some sort of creative pool. I’m not sure what I’ll make, when I’ll find the time or whether I’ll share it. But I guess the point is that I have that feeling back, it’s been gone for a few years and now my hands are itching again.

I’m not promising anything.

Posted by Shannon at 8:23 am | Permalink | 2 Comments
November 4, 2015

admission time

+ I don’t really understand the basics of paleo, I dont even pronouncing it right.
+ I am always thinking about how I can work more efficiently.
+ I have three rogue hairs on my chin that keep coming back.
+ I fear then when I get old and stop caring I’ll have a beard.
+ I hate losing. I want everyone to win, but not when they are against me.
+ I would wear my dressing gown all day if I could.
+ I like helping people work stuff out. But I’m a little tough love.
+ As soon as I saw the Weeknd sing ‘The Hills’ with Nikki Minaj on SNL I bought his album.
+ My anxiety is nowhere near being under control.
+ I haven’t cooked from a cookbook other than the CWA Classics cookbook in years.
+ I have a solid list of go-to people. One for work, one for fun, one for sport.
+ Approaching an Australian netballer and telling them you love them is fine.
+ And I’d do it again. Cos I do love her.
+ I’d like to get the point where wearing ugg boots to meetings is A.OK.


C’mon. Spill it.
Posted by Shannon at 10:40 am | Permalink | 1 Comment
October 9, 2015



This week I created a new social media strategy for a hopeful client. It’s roots are firmly based within the stationary industry, and this excites me. Love me some papers, love me some fresh new pencils and beautiful wrapping paper. I also got to spend a few hours researching bright, gorgeous Instagram accounts. Because that’s exactly what I need, more time wasting on the internet. But jeez there are some good feeds about the traps. The colour, the consistency, intricate curation and the output is crazy. I guess that’s why people get paid to be Instagrammers. It gave me so many ideas for this potential job.

Each time I post an image on Instagram I seem to lose a follower. I am the anti-Instagrammer. You can’t pay for shit like that. Maybe I should have written that in my proposal ‘Sure! For you I can grow your brand, but working for myself, I lose nothing but friends daily.’ I am glad to be back at the point that I Instagram for myself, not for my business. I put so much effort into clients accounts; it’s relaxing to go to a ‘safe’ space and post images that reflect me. I am not selling anything and it’s such a nice change. I am not trying to connect with anyone. I am just sharing for sharing’s sake.

Imagine that, not stretching the truth on the internet. How novel.


Posted by Shannon at 2:02 pm | Permalink | Leave a comment
September 15, 2015

black and white


Things I have been collecting on Pinterest. I’m way more fun on Pinterest. I post all the time. Actually I don’t ‘post’ – I ‘pin’. It’s nice and quiet, and colourful and I feel at home over there. No one talks to me and it’s very attractive.

You can follow me if you’d like. It’s all pictures. No words.

Posted by Shannon at 8:33 pm | Permalink | Leave a comment
June 12, 2015


I have been entertaining myself with thinking up names for people who arnt too talkative.

chatty. mr chatty. hey chattster. chatty karchattian. chats town funk. chatstone shopping centre. lady chatterly’s lover. sir chatterly. sir chatsworth. chatsworth prison. chitchatterer. chitty chatty bang bang. chat stevens. chat faker. the chats pyjamas. the artists formerly known as colin. chatty mcchatskins. chit chat back chat. chatlyn jenner. chat potato. charlie chatlin. chattanooga choo choo. chatty and the chattolate factory. chai latte. kimchi chatty pants.

Give me five minutes and I’ll think of some more.

Posted by Shannon at 1:14 pm | Permalink | 1 Comment
May 15, 2015

april and may

I have been too busy for you blog. You are still my homepage though, I think thats the only reason why my analytics says I have page hits is because I open the internet 20 million times a day. And there you are. A sad old page with a post written months ago. Oh well, Ive been busy man. But so what? who isn’t. Everyone is busy. Making shit, talking about what food they are eating and posting about why no one reads blogs anymore and how to make money from your blog and enter this comp so I can get your email address for my subscriber list so I can approach people for sponsorship. Woah, clearly got some issues coming through here. Whatever. Blog schmog. So grumpy. So busy. So important.

I went into an Aesop store the other week to purchase a gift for a mate and a gift for myself,  otherwise known as just buying something because I wanted it. Yes, a luxury item. And the dude behind the counter was so cool it hurt. I shouldn’t even really say counter because it’s not, it’s just some cool old drawers. He had a man bun and some of those harem pants. I imagine that when he is in his late 30’s he’ll look back at this memory and think ‘what the fuck?’ just the way I do when I think about all the purple I wore with my long, long straight black hair. This dude offered me some tea whilst browsing, it was all in hushed calming tones which made me suspicious. And a little annoyed. I just wanna buy my stuff and get out, please don’t prolong my experience with banter. So no, no tea was had. I think he just nods and shuffles backwards while keeping eye contact with me, like a little monk at a temple. Namaste.

I picked my gifts and the said the fatal word ‘yes, gift wrapped please’. No shazza, take it back. Aesop’s employee of the month eyes lit up and he pulled out what can only be called a scrapbookers bag of wrapping tricks. He wrapped it, he ribboned it, he blessed it, he had sex with it, he cleaned it off and he did a little rain dance with it. He placed it in a hemp vegan thread infused organically printed calico bag, sprayed THE AIR with some sort of smelly goodness and wafted the bag through the spray. Dear god save me. I have been transported into that scenes from Love Actually. Only I am not having an affair with the bug eyed bird from work and I am not that dude from Harry Potter.

I paid. I left. And I thought, I’m gonna blog that shit.


PS. Kate, I love Aesop. I have many of their products and wear them daily. In fact this post was sponsored by Aesop. No, not really.


Posted by Shannon at 9:05 am | Permalink | 8 Comments
March 3, 2015

future CEO

Kid #2 is very proud to be an SRC rep. Let’s just say this is nothing to do with the genes I gave her, it’s all from the other side. Yesterday I received a text saying ‘ Apparently Sadie went to the SRC meeting with a pen and paper ready to take the minutes ‘. This kid is in grade two. It was the first SRC meeting of the year. She is not on the apprentice. So when she got home I started asking about school and the meeting and whether she was told to bring or take notes.

” No I just made a list of things I wanted to do in the school ” Ofcourse you do, this includes wearing school uniforms, creating a shopkins club and a book club. And something about hotdogs. Hi brow shizz.

“Were you told to make a list? When did you make this list?

“At recess, so I could take it to the lunchtime meeting” She’s a planner and she’s organised, I like that.

“Did anyone help you?” Its a long list, mainly incoherent cos the junior CEO cant spell as yet. Remember she’s in grade two.

“No I did it by myself, I may read it to the school at friday’s assembly”

“Are you joking? What do you mean? You are getting up to talk?”

“Yeah I volunteered”

“Alone? or with a grade sixer or something?”

“Nah some kid named Ann, she’s in grade 3”

“So you and some rando kid are getting up?”

“Yep on friday, you should come to assembly” OK. For that I will come.

I’m not sure where this kid came from. But if she can get a shopkins club up and running I am going to change my focus. She’s dropping out of school and coming to work for me.

Posted by Shannon at 11:27 am | Permalink | 4 Comments
February 23, 2015


Well not really lately, because I aint written shizz in four or so months. Why? Why you say? Because I work for others now. Not myself, I’m not selling my crafts and I’m not making patterns with the hope of getting a fabric range, that proved itself to be a situation where I did a lot of work and didn’t get much manoola in return.

I have been busy working for others which is great. It’s nice to be thinking about yourself and what you are going to write about and how your life is that blog worthy and how you don’t have time to make anything so what the hell with you talk about then? Your kids? They’re pretty average and well one is getting all pre-pubey and lanky and still un-co, one thinks she is a rapper and watches too much Jimmy Fallon and the other is just small and rat baggy and talks all the time and likes to stay nude. It’s nice to be able to write for others and get paid and and share your internetty social media skillz with others. I actually do know a little bit about blogging and stuff. Who knew it?

I got bitten by a dog the other week, little fucker bit me through my jeans. I can nearly stand on a surf board after breaking my rule of only sun baking at the beach. I can eat two bounty bars in one sitting. I got best player of last years grand final. I camped for two weeks with a real toilet and didn’t die. I made blogging schedules and social media strategies and redid websites for new clients. I worked out I cant go to all meetings in my sports gear because everyone at the table is in heels and make up. I have been watching not as much TV as usual but that is still quite a lot. I am hoping that by one client taking a break from her business Ill have more time to blog. That’s the plan anyway.

Wat have you been up to?

Posted by Shannon at 11:35 am | Permalink | 3 Comments
November 17, 2014



It’s that time of year. If you want a commission portrait of your family, or maybe of your weird mates family – you know the one? With that kid with the eye thingy? Bleurgh. They’re always so hard to buy for those lot. Maybe your mum’s dog get’s a gift. Also if you're looking to change up your home decor, take a look at stencilrevolution.com/collections/wall-stencils for some great designs.That would be socially unacceptable and a little too Kardashian, but you know, whatever – it’s up to you. Or your crazy aunt has whiskey collection you’d like to draw more attention to because her loudness and undie flashing at every family do needs a visual reason behind it. It’s all cool. I’m skilled. But you need to do it now. I will draw throughout november then post those suckers out in time for you to frame up, wrap and whack under a tree. Once december comes I am pretty much all drawed out.

So what you need to do is email me – I’ll send you the details of what to do and you are sorted. Cross that baby off the list. Or just leave me a comment here or on my facebook page and I’ll message you back and we’ll chat away. Blah blah blah. Or if that’s too hard, I have listed like 50 drawings in my etsy shop right now. And there are a few sad $10 ones sitting in the sale pile. God, can someone just take those off me.

Posted by Shannon at 10:04 am | Permalink | 5 Comments
October 27, 2014

jeez, great.

I played in a netball tournament yesterday. It was tiring, knackering actually but fun to play all day and watch other games all day. Well that’s my idea of a good time, not sure if 98% of the population would agree, but whatever. There was lots of old birds like me whining about injuries and lots of anti inflammatory’s being popped between games with swigs of hydralyte. I had kind of found my people, except I was in a way out in the boon docks suburb and Im not sure ‘my people’ come from over there so let’s just leave it at that. So after all that activity I figured I’d sleep like a log. But no. A massive storm came, woke up most of the house and I had to venture out and watch it. By the way I was really hot in bed last night so I stripped off.

What too much information? It’s vital to the story. I was standing at the back door, nude, watching and waiting for lightening. You know the flashes that light you up for all to see when they flash randomly. So was the neighbour. But I only spotted them after I had watched a few long, bright flashes of lightening that lit us up like a freaking christmas tree. I’m thinking that yes, maybe they got some nude flashes, maybe they didn’t. But what I did see was a very quick shutting of blinds.


Posted by Shannon at 8:22 am | Permalink | 4 Comments